discipline

Book Summary of Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins

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David Goggins’ book “Can’t Hurt Me” details his journey from being controlled by circumstances to proactively pursuing greatness through new challenges. He believes that everyone can cultivate a drive for self-improvement to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. The book also offers ten challenges to aid in efficient goal attainment.

Challenge 1: Face Your Bad Hand

Acknowledging and overcoming challenging circumstances can pave the way for personal growth and development. David Goggins’ story exemplifies this, as he drew strength from his struggles with an abusive father and school difficulties to open new doors.

To confront current obstacles, it’s important to reflect on past and present circumstances. Starting a journal and listing difficult experiences can help gain clarity on challenges faced growing up and currently.

This can include issues such as abuse, low self-esteem, or feeling stuck in one’s comfort zone. Current challenges may involve a limiting boss or self-sabotage.

Challenge 2: Set Up Your Accountability Mirror

To achieve success, it’s important to break down your goals into smaller steps and hold yourself accountable. Goggins used post-it notes on his mirror to remind himself of his goals and worked towards them each day. He faced racism and struggled with school, but used his accountability mirror to improve his reading skills and pass the Air Force qualifying exam.

To create your own accountability mirror:

  1. Write down your insecurities and use them as an opportunity to improve yourself.
  2. Write down your goals and dreams, breaking them into specific steps on separate Post-it notes. Place them on the mirror as a visible reminder to work on them daily.

Challenge 3: Get Used to Discomfort

Building mental willpower is crucial for achieving goals. Goggins struggled with swimming training in the Air Force due to a lack of prior experience and almost gave up. Later, he joined the Navy SEALs but had to lose 106 pounds in three months to qualify.

To overcome discomfort and achieve your goals, try doing things that make you uncomfortable regularly.

Start with writing down things you dislike or should be doing and try doing them consistently. Push yourself to do something uncomfortable every day and gradually make it more challenging.

Challenge 4: Best Your Opponent

Doubting yourself can sabotage your success when striving towards your goals. Instead, use that perceived doubt as motivation to prove your opponent wrong. Goggins used this tactic during Hell Week, encouraging his team to exceed their superiors’ expectations and “take their souls.”

To use this strategy, identify a challenge and opponent, then showcase your skills through a project or task. Channel the negative energy towards the obstacle or opponent to excel and exceed their expectations, ultimately earning their respect.

success concept ladder with glowing light bulb

Challenge 5: Visualize Success

Visualizing the obstacles in your path and imagining the feeling of achieving your goal helps you push through and overcome challenges. When recovering from injury during SEAL training, Goggins encouraged himself to keep going by reminding himself that quitting is the only way to fail and visualizing how he would feel upon completion.

To apply this technique, visualize the obstacle you need to overcome and anticipate any difficulties, developing a plan to address them.

Challenge 6: Stock Your Cookie Jar

To stay motivated when facing obstacles, recall your past accomplishments – your “Cookie Jar” – advises Goggins.

Book Summary of 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson

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Humans crave order and meaning to cope with the uncertain world. Religion served this purpose throughout history, but secularism has created a void that nihilism and empty ideologies fill. Jordan Peterson argues that there is genuine meaning and good in existence.

Real evil exists, and good opposes it by preventing harm. Therefore, living a life that produces good creates meaning and makes your existence significant. Your actions, health, and relationships matter.

Rule 1: Improve your posture for increased respect from others.

Your brain has a monitoring system that gauges your place in society based on how you perceive others and how they treat you. Positive treatment elevates your status, while negative treatment lowers it.

Slouching signals defeat and low status, leading to poor treatment and reinforcing your low status. Improving your posture can start a positive cycle by getting others to treat you better and making you feel better, resulting in a higher status.

Rule 2: Treat yourself as you would treat others.

People may take better care of their pets than themselves. Similarly, self-sabotage occurs when you neglect your health or break promises to yourself.

According to Peterson, self-loathing leads to this behavior, as you may believe you’re not worth helping. Instead, you must acknowledge your important role in the world and prioritize self-care. As Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Rule 3: Build a supportive social circle.

Surround yourself with supportive people who genuinely want you to succeed. By pushing each other to greater heights, everyone’s life improves.

Avoid cynical individuals who drag you down and those who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Don’t waste time on people who don’t want to improve as they can’t be helped.

Rule 4: Set your own goals and measure yourself against them, not against others.

Mass media makes it easy to compare yourself to the best in every field and feel inferior. However, modern society is complex, and everyone has different goals, making comparisons pointless. Instead, identify your goals and work towards achievable daily actions.

If something is beyond your control, focus on something else. End each day a little better than it started. By doing this, you will stop obsessing over other people’s success and focus on your own path.

Rule 5: As parents – Teach your children to follow societal rules.

As children test boundaries, it’s a parent’s role to teach them what is acceptable in society. Without proper feedback, children may learn incorrect behaviors, leading to poor adjustment and rejection by society.

Setting rules with minimal force is crucial to prevent this. Remember, society will punish them less mercifully than you will.

Rule 6: Take responsibility for solving problems before blaming external factors.

Blaming others for misfortunes is easy, but before doing so, ask yourself if you’ve taken advantage of every opportunity. Stop any wrong actions and speaking cowardly things. Speak and do only those things you can be proud of.

Rule 7: Pursue what’s meaningful to you, and find purpose in life.

Doing good gives your life purpose and overcomes feelings of emptiness. It satisfies your desires for long-term success and makes your life valuable.

Consider, what can you do to make the world a little better? Take notice and repair what you can. Reflect on your true self and work towards becoming who you’re meant to be.

Rule 8: Be true to yourself. Don’t lie to others or to yourself.

Don’t lie to others or yourself, it goes against your beliefs and creates inner turmoil. Avoid lying about your job, relationships, abilities, bad habits, or future.

Define your personal truth and act accordingly, this reduces anxiety and gives you a direction. Always act in ways that align with your internal voice. A lie can ruin all the truth it touches.

Rule 9: Listen attentively to others, learn from them, and earn their trust.

People verbalize their memories and emotions to think clearly and solve problems. As a listener, you can help by serving as a voice of reason or simply by being present.

Summarizing the speaker’s message is an effective listening technique that forces you to genuinely understand and avoid misinterpreting their words. Assume that the speaker has reached thoughtful conclusions based on their own experiences.

Rule 10: Define your problem clearly for an easier solution.

Anxiety stems from the unknown; specificity turns chaos into something manageable. Treat every problem in your life with the same clarity you would a cancer diagnosis. Be precise about what is wrong and what you want.

In conflicts, specify exactly what is bothering you to prevent resentment from building up and causing harm.

Rule 11: Accept the existence of inequality.

Peterson rejects the postmodern view that gender is purely a social construct and that there are no inherent differences between males and females. Instead, he calls for recognition of natural differences and preferences between the sexes, as denying them can lead to unintended consequences.

For instance, he argues against excessive protection of young boys, as they have a natural desire for risk-taking and competitiveness that should be allowed to develop.

Rule 12: Find moments of joy in life’s hardships.

Life is difficult and suffering is inevitable. Instead of hating the universe for it, accept that it’s part of existence and love someone despite their limitations. Find joy in the small things that make life worth living, like watching a girl splash into a puddle, enjoying a good coffee, or petting a cat.

Book Summary of Atomic Habits by James Clear

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In “Atomic Habits,” James Clear shows how changing your habits can transform your life. This guide covers why habits are important, the three mindsets for creating them, how habits are formed, the four keys to changing them, and ways to continue improving. We’ll also compare Clear’s approach with other expert methods.

Small Adjustments Lead to Massive Transformations

Clear believes that small changes in behavior, called “atomic habits,” can transform your life because behaviors compound over time. One good behavior leads to another and creates a ripple effect of positive changes. Clear categorizes habits into three levels: goal-driven, system-driven, and identity-driven habits.

Goal-Driven Habits

According to Clear, a goal-driven habit is a behavior done to achieve a specific objective. Many people try to change their behavior this way, such as studying two extra hours a day to ace a test.

System-Driven Habits

Clear suggests that system-driven habits focus on processes that lead to achieving goals, instead of focusing solely on the goal itself. An example of a system-driven habit is developing a study routine, which emphasizes the process of studying rather than just aiming for a good test score.

Identity-Driven Habits

Identity-driven habits are behaviors that align with our beliefs about ourselves, or our identity. Clear suggests that we perform these habits because they match our identity. For instance, if you see yourself as a good student, you develop a study routine because that’s what good students do.

How to Change Your Habits: Start With Your Identity

Clear recommends creating identity-driven habits instead of goal-driven habits for lasting behavior change. By embodying the person you want to be, you reinforce that identity with evidence and make performing the corresponding habits easier.

Your desired identity should guide the systems and goals you choose. For instance, if you aim to be a conscientious person who excels in tests, you might prioritize getting enough sleep. These habits lead to achieving your goals and are sustained even after you reach them.

How Habits Form: The Four Stages

Clear describes the four stages of habit formation: cue, craving, response, and reward. The cue prompts the brain to notice a reward, leading to a craving and a behavior that satisfies that craving, resulting in a reward.

Over time, this pathway becomes stronger, forming a habit. For example, coming home stressed from work (cue) prompts the craving for relaxation, leading to the response of drinking a beer, which satisfies the craving and reduces stress (reward).

Four Keys to Creating Habits

To create new, beneficial habits, Clear recommends altering each stage of the habit-forming process. He provides four keys for doing so, one for each stage: cues, cravings, responses, and rewards.

Key 1: Cues: Identify and Use Them to Your Advantage

To create positive habits, Clear advises identifying cues by making a list of daily habits and noting which actions precede and follow them. This helps to cue new desired behaviors, such as drinking water right after turning off your alarm.

Use Awareness to Your Advantage

Clear recommends planning in advance using the formula “When X occurs, I will do Y” to make cues noticeable and increase the likelihood of performing a new behavior. For example, schedule studying for 6 pm if that time is currently vacant on your habit list.

Clear’s “habit stacking” technique links a desired behavior to an existing habit by using the formula “After I do X, I will do Y.” For example, “After I put my dinner dishes in the sink, I will study for one hour.”

Be specific about the behavior that follows a cue to make it effective. Ensure the cue is feasible, as logistics can hinder new habits. For example, “I’ll study at my desk for an hour after putting dishes in the sink” is more effective than “I’ll study after dinner.”

Key 2: Craving: Increase the Appeal of a New Habit

Clear recommends two techniques to make creating habits easier by affecting the second stage of habit formation, the craving. Firstly, associate the new habit with other positive behaviors. Secondly, reframe the struggle of a new habit in a positive light to maximize the appeal of the desired behavior.

1) Connect Habits You Should Do to Things You Want to Do

Clear’s first strategy for increasing the appeal of a new habit is to link it to something positive by sandwiching it between an existing habit and a desired activity. This can be done by using the formula, “After X, I will do Y. After I do Y, I get to do Z.”

2) Reframe actions as opportunities rather than obligations.

To change your attitude and perceive obligations as possibilities is Clear’s second tip for attracting a new habit. By focusing on the positive elements of the behavior and the reward that comes with it, you can view your struggles as steps towards your goal, which increases motivation to do the behavior.

Key 3: Response: Decrease the Difficulty

At the third stage of habit building, Clear advises concentrating on the act itself to strengthen habits. Making the behavior effortless is what Clear advocates doing in order to keep your preferred identity, build confidence, and advance.

Make Behaviors Easier

Clear advises simplifying behaviors by removing obstacles and breaking them down into smaller, two-minute steps. Doing so increases the chances of taking action and maintaining the behavior. Instead of large changes, committing to small actions leads to small successes that boost motivation. Breaking down tasks, such as cooking dinner, into smaller steps, like opening the fridge or pulling out a vegetable, makes it easier to achieve.

Key 4: Reward: Make It Fulfilling

Clear suggests that for a habit to form successfully, the rewards must be satisfying. However, since many rewards are delayed, it’s essential to find ways to create immediate rewards that keep you motivated to continue.

End New Habits With Rewards

Clear suggests adding immediate positive reinforcement at the end of a desired behavior to create fulfilling rewards that keep you motivated. You can maintain motivation in a manner that delayed incentives cannot by engaging in an activity that is instantly gratifying after the action. The incentive of a higher mark next month may not be enough to motivate you to study, but concluding each study session with a cookie can.

Record Your Habits

Clear suggests using a visual representation to track progress and increase motivation. By marking a calendar or tracking sheet, you can see your accomplishments and feel rewarded for each successful completion. This act of tracking can be satisfying and motivating, creating a cue to continue the habit.

Breaking Bad Habits

To break a bad habit, disrupt one of the four stages of habit formation:

  1. Make the cue unnoticeable.
  2. Decrease the appeal of the habit.
  3. Increase the effort required to perform the habit.
  4. Make the reward unfulfilling.

To break the habit of shopping at the mall, change your route to avoid the cue, add a reminder of how much money you can save, increase the effort required to get there, and pay only in cash to decrease the reward.

Finding the Right Habits

Clear suggests focusing on developing habits that align with your strengths and interests as they are more enjoyable and easier to maintain due to your genetic makeup and predispositions.

The Big Five Personality Traits

To identify ideal habits, understand your personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. While not determinative, traits can guide toward habits more likely to succeed. Clear advises finding the version of a habit that aligns with your personality, rather than copying others. For example, if you dislike crowds, daily walks may work better than gym visits.

Continuing to Show Up

To maintain the effectiveness of a habit, it’s crucial to address its potential downsides. Clear offers strategies for tackling these issues, which include:

Make actions more difficult to avoid boredom

Clear suggests making habits challenging to combat boredom but not too difficult to discourage you. It’s important to ensure some level of success and failure to maintain motivation. This intermittent reward system reduces boredom by making each attempt novel.

How to Keep Progressing: Build on Momentum

Clear warns that creating habits can lead to stagnation, as automation may cause you to miss mistakes and hinder progress. For example, playing the same piano scales every day without noticing small mistakes can reinforce bad habits and impede progress.

How to Keep Changing: Develop an Adaptable Identity

Clear warns of a third downside of habit formation: becoming too attached to the identity that the habit represents. This can make it challenging to evolve beyond that identity because losing the habit means losing a part of yourself and your motivation. For instance, if you identify as a “good student” due to your habit of studying every day, graduating and losing the habit can lead to an identity crisis.

Looking Forward: Continue to Reflect and Adjust

Clear suggests that habit formation is an ongoing process that requires continual evaluation of your identity and behaviors. Your brain is always seeking ways to automate behavior based on environmental cues, so it’s crucial to reflect on your habits regularly.

By making small adjustments, you can promote growth and refine your actions to stay on the path to your goals. With hard work and awareness, you can become anyone you want and achieve anything you desire.