psychology

Book Summary of Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

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According to author Ryan Holiday, ego is more than confidence; it’s a feeling of superiority that distorts our perception of others. This can lead to overestimating our abilities and underestimating challenges, leading to failure and negative traits like addiction and depression.

Even small amounts of ego can hinder success. Holiday identifies three ways ego can lead to failure: before success, during success, and after success. These will be explored in the following sections.

Attaining Success

Holiday believes that ego can hinder success by distorting your thoughts and preventing you from achieving your goals. To overcome this, he suggests stopping self-talk and self-centred thinking to control the influence of ego.

Stop Talking About Yourself

Holiday observes that ego often drives people to self-promote, particularly on social media, by posting their thoughts, activities, and interactions. However, he warns that this type of talk can hinder success by replacing action with mere words. Holiday identifies self-promoting talk as a hindrance to success because:

Holiday argues that self-promoting talk can hinder success by monopolizing time that should be spent working towards goals, sapping psychological energy by providing a false sense of accomplishment, and preventing necessary periods of silence for productive reflection. Research supports these claims, showing that visualization of positive outcomes can decrease enthusiasm and that meditation can improve focus by allowing for silence and freedom from distractions.

Stop Thinking About Yourself

Holiday advises against self-centered thinking as well, as egotistical thoughts can lead to self-aggrandizing ideas that hinder success. He outlines three ways that such thoughts can paralyze you: shifting focus from tasks to “greatness,” preventing action out of fear of imperfection, and creating a barrier between you and reality by ignoring facts or imagining threats.

Aim to Do Something, Rather Than Be Someone

Holiday warns that ego can hinder achievement when it drives us to prioritize recognition over accomplishment. We face a choice between being somebody (earning recognition for doing a job as expected) or doing something (accomplishing things that elevate our profession or the world).

Pursuing recognition can lead to compromising our values and betraying friends to obtain markers of success like promotions. Pursuing accomplishment may not bring superficial markers of success, but it allows us to positively impact others by contributing ideas to the world.

Become a Lifelong Student

Holiday warns that ego can hinder your progress by making you believe that you have nothing left to learn and don’t need improvement. However, the need to learn never ends, and even experts can still learn to improve.

To continue your growth as a lifelong student, Holiday suggests seeking feedback, taking on new challenges, learning from successful people in your industry, utilizing training courses and books, and becoming a mentor to someone less experienced.

Control Your Passion

Holiday challenges the notion that passion is the key to success, pointing out that it can actually hinder progress. While caring about your project is important, unchecked enthusiasm can blind you to potential problems and cause you to ignore objections and jump ahead too quickly.

Passion often masks weaknesses in a project, which can lead to failure when reality sets in. Instead of relying solely on passion, Holiday suggests being realistic and strategic in pursuing your goals.

Keep Your Head Down

Holiday suggests three things to overcome the urges of the ego:

  • Be a helper: Take humble positions that will help you learn about your business from different perspectives.
  • Keep your temper: Stay in control of your emotions and act professionally, even when mistreated.
  • Do the work: Work hard to put your ideas into practice and avoid getting caught up in grand ideas or self-promotion.

Maintaining Success

Holiday offers advice on how to handle success and the challenges that come with it. One of the main challenges is navigating your ego, which can cause you to behave poorly and ultimately lose the success you’ve achieved.

To prevent this, Holiday recommends staying a lifelong student, keeping your priorities in focus, and avoiding letting your success destroy itself. Don’t become complacent and always be open to new lessons, ask yourself if new opportunities will advance your ultimate goal, and beware of feelings of entitlement and the need to control others.

Recovering From Failure

After exploring how ego can hinder success, let’s see how it can also lead you astray in times of defeat. Failure is inevitable, but how you react to it will determine your future success. Ego is especially dangerous during this stage because it can make it difficult to react rationally and can make failure permanent.

However, with the proper attitude, you can turn failure into eventual success. Holiday suggests turning “dead time” into “alive time” by using non-productive periods to prepare for your next step, letting your “low moment” transform you by honestly assessing what went wrong, redefining success to focus on efforts rather than outcomes, and cutting your losses instead of falling into the “sunk cost fallacy”.

Resist Feeling Hatred

Holiday warns that blaming and anger are ways that ego can hinder recovery from failure. When we fail, our ego wants to blame someone else, but this only prolongs our suffering. Hatred accomplishes the opposite of what we hope – it exposes our bad side and makes people lose sympathy. Love, on the other hand, is transformational.

Even if we feel it’s undeserved, loving someone who has wronged us allows us to gain perspective and understand the forces at play. This way, we avoid placing blame and can emerge from failure as a stronger person.

Book Summary of Be Your Future Self Now by Benjamin Hardy

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In “Be Your Future Self Now,” Benjamin Hardy makes the case that in order to achieve ultimate success, you must become your highest self, or “future self.” Achieving this requires identifying your higher self and committing to life-changing goals above all else. This guide will explore Hardy’s argument and provide recommendations for adopting the necessary mindset, supplemented by other success experts.

The Importance of Your Higher Self

According to Hardy, success in life means reaching your full potential by becoming your highest self. This requires all your present actions to move you closer to that goal. Identifying your higher self early on is crucial because your present actions are driven by your future goals and desires.

Having a clear and ambitious vision of your higher self helps you take productive actions in the present that will benefit you over time. Conversely, lacking a clear vision of your higher self leads to unproductive actions that harm your progress towards becoming your best self.

When You Lack a Clear Vision, You Become Unproductive

According to Hardy, lacking a clear vision of your higher self leads to unproductive behaviors that hinder your progress towards becoming your best self. These include instant gratification and non-crucial activities that feel rewarding in the short-term but do not contribute to your long-term goals.

Engaging in such behaviors takes away from the time you should be dedicating towards becoming your higher self. Hardy recommends identifying your higher self and committing to your future goals and desires to avoid unproductive behaviors and ensure that your present actions are beneficial in the long term. The following sections will outline his recommendations for doing so.

How to Become Your Higher Self

The next sections will cover Hardy’s four primary suggestions for achieving your highest potential and how to apply them.

  • To become your higher self, according to Hardy:
  • Identify who you want to become and the big goals that person has achieved.
  • Prioritize three achievable goals to work on over the next five years that will lead you towards your higher self.
  • Set specific 12-month goals with clear success criteria to measure your progress towards your priorities.

For example, if your higher self is a renowned graphic designer, your priorities may include getting degrees with stellar grades, building an impressive portfolio, and doing freelance work for local businesses. Your 12-month goals may include finding a mentor, planning your required courses, and achieving a minimum B grade in each class.

Recommendation #2: Set Your Higher Self as Your Daily Priority

To make steady progress towards becoming your ideal self, prioritize daily actions that align with your goals and avoid distractions.

Principle #1: Disregard Non-Crucial Activities

Avoid activities that do not contribute to achieving your goals, such as painting your house, which takes time away from pursuing your 12-month goals.

Principle #2: Schedule 12-Month Goals First

Schedule daily time to work on your goals before other urgent tasks, such as working on your graphic design portfolio before your sales job.

Principle #3: Replace Instant Gratification Habits

Cultivate beneficial habits that align with your goals, such as checking out book cover designs on Goodreads instead of playing video games to improve your graphic design skills.

Recommendation #3: Seek Out Beneficial Environments

Hardy’s Recommendation #3 is to seek out environments that will aid in becoming one’s higher self. This can be achieved by stepping out of one’s comfort zone and surrounding oneself with people who are better than them.

These actions can help develop the skills and habits needed to progress towards one’s goals.

To do this, one should attempt tasks that their higher self would excel in and seek out individuals who have achieved similar goals or are closer to achieving them.

Recommendation #4: Have an Empowering View of Life and Fate

Hardy argues that a disempowering view of life and fate can prevent people from becoming their higher selves. This view is often shaped by three factors: their past, their current circumstances, and a sense of helplessness about their ability to control their future.

Hardy advises adopting three empowering beliefs to become your higher self.

  1. Firstly, don’t let your past dictate your future; learn from it and use it to grow.
  2. Secondly, take ownership of your circumstances and ability to change. Find at least one way to benefit from any situation and identify actions you can take to change your circumstances.
  3. Lastly, believe that you’re the creator of your own fate and that your purpose is to achieve fulfillment and become the highest version of yourself.

Adopting a firm belief that you will become your higher self and expressing gratitude for it will reinforce your belief in yourself and empower you to take necessary actions to achieve your goals.

Book Summary of Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

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Psycho-Cybernetics teaches us to view our mind as a machine, which can be programmed for success and happiness. By adopting this mindset, we can significantly enhance our self-image and boost our capacity to achieve our goals.

Part 1: What Is Psycho-Cybernetics?

In the initial section, we delve into why plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz turned to psychology and cybernetic theory to decipher the root causes of success and failure. Subsequently, we elucidate Maltz’s theory on how the human brain functions in achieving goals based on cybernetic principles.

Why a Plastic Surgeon Turned to Psychology

During his stint as a plastic surgeon, Maltz noticed a distinction in how patients reacted to “physical flaws” being corrected. Post-surgery, certain patients experienced an immediate upswing in self-esteem and confidence, leading to increased goal attainment.

Conversely, some patients’ personalities remained unaltered post-surgery; their thoughts, emotions, and actions stayed the same as if the “flaw” was still there. Despite their transformed external appearance, their self-perception and success rate remained unimproved.

Your Physical Appearance Doesn’t Define Your Self-Perception

Maltz’s observation of the variance in patient response to physical correction prompted his pursuit of the mind-body connection and its impact on confidence and success. He ultimately concluded that self-perception holds greater significance than physical appearance.

One’s thoughts about themselves shape their approach to life, success, and happiness, not their physical features. Maltz realized that to achieve self-improvement and success, it was crucial to eliminate negative thought patterns that hindered patients’ self-perception and success.

Cybernetics: Your Mind Works Like a Machine to Reach Goals

To understand why people perceive themselves the way they do, Maltz analyzed the reverse process of successful goal achievement and linked it back to self-perception. This led to his interest in cybernetic theory, which revealed that the human brain operates based on similar principles as machines. Both rely on positive and negative feedback to guide them towards goals.

For example, a missile uses sensors to hit a target, while the brain uses feedback to learn how to eat. Once a successful process is recorded, the brain discards negative feedback, allowing for repeated action without conscious thought.

Part 2: Your Self-Image Defines Your Experience

Maltz believed that our brains work like a cybernetic machine, using feedback to reach goals. However, it’s not always easy to achieve our conscious goals if our internal programming doesn’t align with them. For instance, you may want to make friends but subconsciously push people away. This conflict arises due to a discrepancy between your conscious goals and your self-image, according to Maltz.

What Is Your Self-Image?

Your brain has recorded all your experiences, shaping your self-image which defines who you are, how you express yourself, and how you act. For example, falling over can be perceived as a fact or lead to an identification like “I’m a klutz,” influencing your behavior and self-image.

What Influences Your Self-Image?

Maltz believes your self-image is a product of thoughts you’ve chosen to believe about your past experiences, even if they’re inaccurate. Your nervous system reacts to your thoughts as if they’re true, regardless of their accuracy. Maltz illustrates this by comparing it to being hypnotized into thinking you’re in a snowstorm, causing your body to physically react to the suggestion.

Your self-image is shaped by the opinions and beliefs of those around you and your own imagination. Mental images and strong impressions become beliefs that define your self-image. Your nervous system reacts to these beliefs, creating emotional and physical responses.

Your Self-Image Impacts Your Behavior

Maltz believes humans and machines interpret feedback differently to achieve their goals. Humans rely on their self-image to interpret feedback, which can lead to failure or success. To achieve success, you need to align your self-image with your goals and interpret feedback that moves you towards them.

Part 3: Use Your Imagination to Create Success

Maltz suggests that by using your imagination, you can improve your self-image and reprogram yourself. The first step is to become aware of whether you’re using your imagination positively or negatively.

If you’re using it negatively, you need to make a conscious effort to create a mental picture of yourself as successful and practice feeling successful. By regularly creating positive feelings, you can replace negative beliefs with new successful beliefs and improve your self-image.

Five Self-Image Alignment Methods

Maltz presents five methods for using imagination to improve self-image and achieve success:

  1. Change a daily habit to prove that change is possible and affirm that you can choose to think differently.
  2. Practice physical relaxation to make your mind more receptive to positive suggestions and create space for positive thoughts.
  3. Use imagination to recall successful memories and create successful feelings to imprint on your self-image.
  4. Focus on a clear goal to find the motivation to change your self-image and develop the habit of success.
  5. Cultivate happiness to improve overall wellbeing and increase resilience to physical setbacks. Maltz argues that negative attitudes are bad for health and happiness.

Part 4: Release Your Limitations

Maltz suggests that breaking free from negative thoughts and developing a happy, successful mindset is possible by creating positive feedback loops. He recommends three methods to replace negative thoughts with positive ones and redirect yourself towards success.

Method 1: Turn Challenges into Opportunities to Improve Your Self-Image

Maltz believes challenges are opportunities for growth and success, but those with negative self-image often see them as crises. Planning ahead is crucial in overcoming fears and moving past your comfort zone. By identifying fears and using imagination to visualize confident responses, one can better prepare themselves for challenges.

Method 2: Practice Reflecting Only on the Facts

Maltz argues that negative feelings are a result of your habitual thought process, and not an indication of reality. Negative thoughts can lead to false conclusions that keep you stuck in a negative feedback loop. To break this cycle, choose to replace negative thoughts with rational ones that encourage positive beliefs.

Method 3: Forgive and Forget

Maltz argues that holding onto past mistakes and traumas prevents people from experiencing success in their lives. Emotional scars created from these experiences may seem protective, but they actually keep people trapped in a negative state.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, allows individuals to heal emotional scars and move forward. Accepting that everyone makes mistakes and forgiving yourself and others liberates you and enables you to focus on your goals.

Book Summary of 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson

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Humans crave order and meaning to cope with the uncertain world. Religion served this purpose throughout history, but secularism has created a void that nihilism and empty ideologies fill. Jordan Peterson argues that there is genuine meaning and good in existence.

Real evil exists, and good opposes it by preventing harm. Therefore, living a life that produces good creates meaning and makes your existence significant. Your actions, health, and relationships matter.

Rule 1: Improve your posture for increased respect from others.

Your brain has a monitoring system that gauges your place in society based on how you perceive others and how they treat you. Positive treatment elevates your status, while negative treatment lowers it.

Slouching signals defeat and low status, leading to poor treatment and reinforcing your low status. Improving your posture can start a positive cycle by getting others to treat you better and making you feel better, resulting in a higher status.

Rule 2: Treat yourself as you would treat others.

People may take better care of their pets than themselves. Similarly, self-sabotage occurs when you neglect your health or break promises to yourself.

According to Peterson, self-loathing leads to this behavior, as you may believe you’re not worth helping. Instead, you must acknowledge your important role in the world and prioritize self-care. As Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Rule 3: Build a supportive social circle.

Surround yourself with supportive people who genuinely want you to succeed. By pushing each other to greater heights, everyone’s life improves.

Avoid cynical individuals who drag you down and those who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Don’t waste time on people who don’t want to improve as they can’t be helped.

Rule 4: Set your own goals and measure yourself against them, not against others.

Mass media makes it easy to compare yourself to the best in every field and feel inferior. However, modern society is complex, and everyone has different goals, making comparisons pointless. Instead, identify your goals and work towards achievable daily actions.

If something is beyond your control, focus on something else. End each day a little better than it started. By doing this, you will stop obsessing over other people’s success and focus on your own path.

Rule 5: As parents – Teach your children to follow societal rules.

As children test boundaries, it’s a parent’s role to teach them what is acceptable in society. Without proper feedback, children may learn incorrect behaviors, leading to poor adjustment and rejection by society.

Setting rules with minimal force is crucial to prevent this. Remember, society will punish them less mercifully than you will.

Rule 6: Take responsibility for solving problems before blaming external factors.

Blaming others for misfortunes is easy, but before doing so, ask yourself if you’ve taken advantage of every opportunity. Stop any wrong actions and speaking cowardly things. Speak and do only those things you can be proud of.

Rule 7: Pursue what’s meaningful to you, and find purpose in life.

Doing good gives your life purpose and overcomes feelings of emptiness. It satisfies your desires for long-term success and makes your life valuable.

Consider, what can you do to make the world a little better? Take notice and repair what you can. Reflect on your true self and work towards becoming who you’re meant to be.

Rule 8: Be true to yourself. Don’t lie to others or to yourself.

Don’t lie to others or yourself, it goes against your beliefs and creates inner turmoil. Avoid lying about your job, relationships, abilities, bad habits, or future.

Define your personal truth and act accordingly, this reduces anxiety and gives you a direction. Always act in ways that align with your internal voice. A lie can ruin all the truth it touches.

Rule 9: Listen attentively to others, learn from them, and earn their trust.

People verbalize their memories and emotions to think clearly and solve problems. As a listener, you can help by serving as a voice of reason or simply by being present.

Summarizing the speaker’s message is an effective listening technique that forces you to genuinely understand and avoid misinterpreting their words. Assume that the speaker has reached thoughtful conclusions based on their own experiences.

Rule 10: Define your problem clearly for an easier solution.

Anxiety stems from the unknown; specificity turns chaos into something manageable. Treat every problem in your life with the same clarity you would a cancer diagnosis. Be precise about what is wrong and what you want.

In conflicts, specify exactly what is bothering you to prevent resentment from building up and causing harm.

Rule 11: Accept the existence of inequality.

Peterson rejects the postmodern view that gender is purely a social construct and that there are no inherent differences between males and females. Instead, he calls for recognition of natural differences and preferences between the sexes, as denying them can lead to unintended consequences.

For instance, he argues against excessive protection of young boys, as they have a natural desire for risk-taking and competitiveness that should be allowed to develop.

Rule 12: Find moments of joy in life’s hardships.

Life is difficult and suffering is inevitable. Instead of hating the universe for it, accept that it’s part of existence and love someone despite their limitations. Find joy in the small things that make life worth living, like watching a girl splash into a puddle, enjoying a good coffee, or petting a cat.

Book Summary of Influence by Robert Cialdini

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Influence” explores how we are persuaded to do things and how fixed-action patterns are manipulated to achieve compliance. These patterns are mental shortcuts we use to make decisions based on assumptions, such as braking when other drivers do. They help us make decisions efficiently but can also be exploited to influence our behavior.

Compliance Practitioners

Compliance practitioners, such as salespeople, fundraisers, and politicians, exploit our fixed-action patterns to persuade us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. They manipulate us by using the wrong stimuli to elicit the desired response.

For instance, a store owner may mark up a low-quality item to make it more appealing by triggering our mental shortcut that associates high prices with high quality. This turns our fixed-action advantage into a disadvantage that hinders our judgment and leads us to make poor decisions.

Compliance practitioners commonly apply six psychological principles to persuade people:

  1. Reciprocity
  2. Commitment/Consistency
  3. Social proof
  4. Liking
  5. Authority

Reciprocity

The Reciprocity Principle urges us to repay others when they do something for us, which is commonly seen as basic courtesy. The principle evolved from early human communities that had a better chance of survival by working together and reciprocating favors.

Compliance practitioners use this principle to create a sense of obligation by giving small gifts or making token gestures of kindness before asking for something in return. They may also use a rejection-then-retreat tactic to encourage a reciprocal concession.

To avoid falling for these tactics, it’s crucial to distinguish between genuine acts of kindness and those designed to manipulate us. Socially, we are required to repay a real kindness with a similar one, but we are not required to repay a trick with a trick.

Commitment/Consistency

The Consistency Principle says people feel compelled to stay committed to their beliefs and actions, even when they don’t align. While it’s useful, it can be exploited. Compliance practitioners take advantage by starting with small requests and building to larger ones. Spot the situation and turn the tables by calling out their tactic. Make decisions with a reason, not reason for a decision.

Social Proof

The Social Proof Principle says we tend to follow what others are doing or thinking. It can be useful, as it helps us make decisions quickly and accurately. But it can also be manipulated by those who want to sell us things or influence us. Advertisers may create the illusion of popularity by claiming that a product is the “fastest-growing” or “highest-selling.” To avoid being tricked, you should look beyond the numbers and think critically about why people are behaving in a certain way. Don’t just follow the crowd blindly; use your own judgement.

Liking

The Liking Principle suggests that we are more likely to comply with requests from people we know and like, including family, friends, and attractive or affable individuals who profess to like us. Compliance practitioners take advantage of this by using names of acquaintances or projecting likable qualities to win us over.

However, it’s important to evaluate each situation on its own merits to avoid being manipulated. Don’t let personal feelings cloud your judgement when making decisions.

Authority

The Authority Principle states that we tend to comply with requests from those we perceive as authoritative figures, such as teachers, doctors, and police officers. Symbols of authority like titles and uniforms can also trigger compliance.

While this can be beneficial for society, it can also be exploited by manipulators who use superficial authority to deceive us. For instance, the Milgram experiment showed that people can be easily pressured by an authority figure to perform unethical actions.

To avoid being manipulated, considering a person’s credentials and relevancy is crucial. The mere fact that someone presents themselves as an authoritative person does not imply that they are knowledgeable or reliable.

Scarcity

The Scarcity Principle states that we’re drawn to things that are limited in availability. Scarcity is related to loss aversion, where we’re more afraid of losing something than gaining something of equal value.

Creating a feeling of immediacy through “sales pitches that are “first-come, first-served” or “limited-time only”, compliance professionals take advantage of scarcity to their advantage. The sense of loss aversion is heightened when scarcity occurs through social competition.

To avoid being manipulated, ask yourself if you want something for its intrinsic value or just because it’s rare. Compliance practitioners use various techniques to get us to comply, including free samples, fake social proof, flattery, authority, and fake deadlines. Knowing these tricks can help you resist them.

Book Summary of To Sell Is Human by Daniel H. Pink

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Discover the intrinsic human skill of selling and learn how to utilize it for achieving sales results and success in other areas of life through “To Sell Is Human”. Our guide simplifies and supports the ideas of renowned author Daniel Pink, making them easily applicable to your own life.

Everyone’s a Salesperson

Pink argues that the modern workplace has made sales skills essential for all workers, introducing the concept of non-sales selling or contemporary selling. This involves persuading others to exchange resources, not just money, and includes activities such as negotiating prices, job interviews, and even asking someone on a date.

The Traditional ABCs of Sales

Pink believes that sales was previously seen as deceptive and manipulative, but now there are two sales philosophies: the traditional “buyer beware” and the new “seller beware.” The former prioritizes the seller’s benefit and lacks integrity, while the latter emphasizes serving the buyer and requires integrity. Successful salespeople now operate from a place of integrity, rather than using it as a last resort.

Traditional Sales Philosophy

During the 1900s, when traditional sales dominated the stable and consumer-driven economy, the primary objective was profit, as exemplified by the “ABC” acronym (Always Be Closing). This profit-focused approach led salespeople to disregard the buyers’ needs, creating a negative perception of salespeople. For instance, a traditional car salesperson would misrepresent their vehicle’s quality and overcharge buyers to maximize profits, regardless of the buyers’ interests.

What Changed?

The decline of traditional sales was initiated by two factors. Firstly, economic disruption caused by the Great Recession forced workers to expand their skill sets, making sales a necessary skill for everyone.

Additionally, the rise of entrepreneurs also contributed to the need for flexible skill sets, including sales. Secondly, the technology boom disrupted the power imbalance between buyers and sellers, as the internet provided access to information previously monopolized by sellers. This shift forced sellers to prioritize the needs of buyers over their own profits.

The Modern ABCs of Sales

Pink argues that the economic and technological changes have led to the emergence of a new selling philosophy that replaces the old profit-oriented “ABC” approach. This new approach prioritizes meeting the buyer’s needs and is characterized by three strategies: connection, optimism, and focus.

Contemporary Selling Step 1: Connection

Pink views connection as the ability to synchronize and adjust to individuals, communities, and situations to meet their needs.

Pink proposes three methods for practicing connection.

  1. First, mimicking the buyer’s mannerisms to build trust and camaraderie.
  2. Second, adopting the buyer’s perspective to better understand their needs and offer personalized solutions.
  3. And third, power-shifting by treating the buyer as if they hold the power, creating a service-oriented dynamic.

For example, sitting at an equal level and asking, “What are you looking for, and how can I help?” demonstrates a willingness to serve the buyer’s needs.

Contemporary Selling Step 2: Optimism

Optimism is a key aspect of Pink’s modern sales method as it fosters resilience in the face of rejection. In sales, hearing “no” is more common than “yes,” and an optimistic outlook enables the seller to persist in their efforts or move on to the next customer. For instance, if a door-to-door salesman encounters a prospect who seems uninterested, they can remain positive and demonstrate their belief in their product/service. This mindset allows the seller to bounce back from potential setbacks and approach the next customer.

Prepare: Question Yourself

Pink recommends asking targeted, positive questions to prepare for a sales interaction. This helps focus on sales goals and boosts confidence and motivation, leading to better results over time. Examples of such questions include “How can I be of service to this buyer?” or “How can I demonstrate the value of this purchase?”

Maintain: Communicate Positivity

Pink emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive environment during a sales interaction for both the buyer and seller. Studies show that a healthy ratio of positive to negative sensations increases receptiveness and likelihood of a positive outcome. Therefore, communicate positive information with a minimum 3 to 1 ratio, while still acknowledging a few negatives. Additionally, speak with conviction about your product and create a friendly atmosphere by smiling often and highlighting its positive aspects.

Evaluate: Reflect With Optimism

Pink suggests reflecting on a sales interaction by assuming that negative experiences are temporary, circumstantial, and not personal. This helps to frame the experience positively and influence how you feel about it.

Contemporary Selling Step 3: Focus

Pink’s modern sales model’s third component is creating focus, which involves identifying problems, bringing them to the customer’s attention, and providing solutions. As an example, imagine you’re a tutor and a life coach working with a 12-year-old boy who’s struggling academically due to a lack of self-discipline. By recognizing the issue and offering life coaching instead of tutoring, you provide an effective solution, resulting in significant academic improvements.

Pink offers four ways to create focus for customers:

  1. Problem Finding: Pink’s method is about helping buyers clarify their needs. By being thorough and asking good questions, you can use the information you discover to help your buyer focus on their needs and decide on a solution.
  2. Creating Contrast: Show buyers multiple potential paths they can compare, or use an unfavorable option to highlight the benefits of a more favorable one.If you’re trying to sell a vehicle, for instance, have several vehicles prepared to display to the customer, including one of inferior quality than the others that you may use to emphasize the advantages of the other vehicles.
  3. Selling Experience: Sell experiences rather than products. Framing a sale through the lens of experience focuses a buyer on how they will benefit and is more likely to get them emotionally invested in making a purchase.
  4. Providing a Path: Provide buyers with a clear path to solving their problem. Giving them clear steps and a clear time frame makes them more likely to commit to working with you.

The New Paradigm: Say Goodbye to Sales and Hello to Service

Pink believes that sales should ultimately be about providing a service to others and improving their lives. He suggests two steps for service-oriented sales.

  • Step #1 is to make it personal by showing your passion for the product and focusing on service rather than profit. This creates a connection with the customer and makes your pitch more credible.
  • Step #2 is to make it purposeful by connecting what you’re selling to a broader purpose and framing it that way to potential buyers. This taps into the innate desire to serve and can improve society as a whole.

For example, a teacher can remind themselves that they are not only improving the lives of their students, but also preparing them to improve the world.

Bonus Step: Enlarge Your Service Mindset

Pink distinguishes between upselling, which benefits the seller, and “up-serving,” which benefits the buyer. Upselling involves convincing customers to buy more expensive products or add-ons to benefit the seller. In contrast, up-serving means helping customers identify their unmet needs and finding the best solution for them. For instance, if you’re selling a phone to an elderly customer, up-serving means recommending a simple and reliable phone instead of a high-tech and expensive one to maximize profit.

Book Summary of Ogilvy On Advertising by David Ogilvy

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David Ogilvy founded his own advertising agency in 1949 after working as a salesman, copywriter, and adman for years. His agency became one of the world’s most successful, and in 1985, he wrote Ogilvy on Advertising, a comprehensive guide to marketing, creating effective ads, and the industry as a whole.

Marketing and Product Development

To increase sales, good products are crucial. Research is important to determine preferences for smells, colors, flavors, features, and packaging. Quality improvement, balancing convention and novelty, and an appropriate price with promotions can also help. A memorable name and successful launch are key. Focus on successes and convince consumers to try the product.

The Craft of Advertising

Advertising aims to increase profit by attracting new customers or encouraging existing customers to buy more. Effective advertising can significantly boost sales, even for products that already sell well. To create good ads, follow these steps:

  1. Learn about the product to generate associations and potential benefits.
  2. Study competitor’s ads, particularly direct-response ads.
  3. Use research to understand your target audience, product promise, promotions, and media.
  4. Choose a brand image.
  5. By researching and allowing your mind to naturally make connections, you may come up with grand, timeless concepts.
  6. Spotlight the product and make it the star, even if it’s not unique.
  7. Stay away from committee work. The final advertisement frequently says nothing significant since committees frequently confuse issues and demand compromise.

Print Advertising

Print ads are ads in magazines, newspapers or on posters. There are five key elements to consider when creating a print ad: headline, imagery, copy, coupon, and layout.

  1. A great headline is essential as most people read only the headline.
  2. Effective imagery makes the reader curious or tells a story.
  3. Good copy should use the second person, be simple, interesting and specific, and include a story or consumer testimonials.
  4. Coupons should contain a small image, the promise, and the brand name.
  5. The layout should be easy to read and resemble an editorial page to increase readership.

TV Advertising

TV advertising is about commercials and there are six key elements to consider when creating them. These include the structure, the brand and product name, visuals, sound, supers (text overlaid on the video), and costs.

Effective commercials have a “slice of life” structure, feature unusual characters, and are funny, sentimental, fact-based, or newsworthy. It’s important to mention the brand name early and often, show someone using the product, and show the product and packaging at the end.

Use sound effects and avoid voiceovers, and add supers to reiterate your message. Finally, reduce costs by cutting unnecessary complications.

Radio Advertising

When the book was published, radio advertising only accounted for 6% of U.S. advertising and its effectiveness was difficult to measure. Based on a pilot study and his own observations, Ogilvy offers five tips for creating effective radio ads:

  1. Capture people’s attention with surprises, humor, or charm.
  2. Speak to the audience in a conversational manner.
  3. Mention the brand name and promise early in the commercial.
  4. Repeat the brand name and promise throughout the commercial.
  5. Create multiple commercials to avoid listener annoyance and maximize exposure.

Specific Types of Advertising

There are challenges specific to certain types of products, services, and companies, including:

  1. Corporate advertising can improve a company’s reputation, recruitment efforts, and more, but requires a longer-term commitment and legislative advertising may not be considered a business expense.
  2. Tourism advertising involves navigating politics and stereotypes about the country being advertised.
  3. Cause advertising may not bring in much money, but can raise awareness and lead to successful personal solicitation.
  4. Commodity products lack uniqueness, so it’s best to differentiate your company rather than the product by offering lower cost, better quality, or service.

Industry Overview

Working in Advertising

To succeed in the competitive advertising industry, one must have passion. Agency work involves various roles such as copywriters, art directors, account executives, researchers, media buyers, creative directors, and CEOs. Copywriters create written content, art directors handle visuals, account executives act as intermediaries, researchers analyze effectiveness, media departments buy ad space, creative directors oversee production, and CEOs manage and attract clients.

Running an Advertising Agency

To run a successful agency, you need: talented and skilled staff, a solid understanding of office politics, high standards of conduct, a payment system, good investments, and clients.

  • To ensure a talented staff, recruit people smarter than you and with different talents.
  • To avoid politics, fire the worst offenders and organize team-building activities. Set high standards of conduct, including client confidentiality and only using clients’ products.
  • Choose a payment system that suits your agency. Good investments include opening new offices or purchasing your office building.
  • Attract new clients by producing good advertising for existing clients, and use successful work to show potential clients.

To attract new clients, Ogilvy recommends the following:

  1. Give presentations to convince clients to hire your agency, and send a follow-up letter summarizing why they should choose you.
  2. Advertise your agency through direct mail or consistent space advertising.
  3. Sign up multinational accounts to potentially gain worldwide opportunities.

However, Ogilvy also advises caution when taking on new clients. Avoid or drop clients who can’t pay, have a different company culture, are failing, or are bullies.

Finding an Agency

To find the right advertising agency, start by reviewing ads in magazines and on TV that you admire. Create a list of agencies responsible for those ads and eliminate those working with your competitors. Meet with the heads and creative directors of the remaining agencies and ask to see their top six print and TV ads. Choose the agency with the most compelling campaigns and offer to pay 1% more than their usual fee and sign a five-year contract to secure their services.

Public Opinion on Advertising

Critics rank adpeople as low as car salespeople in honesty, but Ogilvy argues that advertising is not inherently immoral and can have positive effects.

Ads go through many levels of approval before running, except for political advertising, which can be dishonest. Advertising may only convince someone to buy an inferior product once. Agencies were creating less informative ads and billboards were considered dangerous and ugly at the time of writing.

Book Summary of Atomic Habits by James Clear

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In “Atomic Habits,” James Clear shows how changing your habits can transform your life. This guide covers why habits are important, the three mindsets for creating them, how habits are formed, the four keys to changing them, and ways to continue improving. We’ll also compare Clear’s approach with other expert methods.

Small Adjustments Lead to Massive Transformations

Clear believes that small changes in behavior, called “atomic habits,” can transform your life because behaviors compound over time. One good behavior leads to another and creates a ripple effect of positive changes. Clear categorizes habits into three levels: goal-driven, system-driven, and identity-driven habits.

Goal-Driven Habits

According to Clear, a goal-driven habit is a behavior done to achieve a specific objective. Many people try to change their behavior this way, such as studying two extra hours a day to ace a test.

System-Driven Habits

Clear suggests that system-driven habits focus on processes that lead to achieving goals, instead of focusing solely on the goal itself. An example of a system-driven habit is developing a study routine, which emphasizes the process of studying rather than just aiming for a good test score.

Identity-Driven Habits

Identity-driven habits are behaviors that align with our beliefs about ourselves, or our identity. Clear suggests that we perform these habits because they match our identity. For instance, if you see yourself as a good student, you develop a study routine because that’s what good students do.

How to Change Your Habits: Start With Your Identity

Clear recommends creating identity-driven habits instead of goal-driven habits for lasting behavior change. By embodying the person you want to be, you reinforce that identity with evidence and make performing the corresponding habits easier.

Your desired identity should guide the systems and goals you choose. For instance, if you aim to be a conscientious person who excels in tests, you might prioritize getting enough sleep. These habits lead to achieving your goals and are sustained even after you reach them.

How Habits Form: The Four Stages

Clear describes the four stages of habit formation: cue, craving, response, and reward. The cue prompts the brain to notice a reward, leading to a craving and a behavior that satisfies that craving, resulting in a reward.

Over time, this pathway becomes stronger, forming a habit. For example, coming home stressed from work (cue) prompts the craving for relaxation, leading to the response of drinking a beer, which satisfies the craving and reduces stress (reward).

Four Keys to Creating Habits

To create new, beneficial habits, Clear recommends altering each stage of the habit-forming process. He provides four keys for doing so, one for each stage: cues, cravings, responses, and rewards.

Key 1: Cues: Identify and Use Them to Your Advantage

To create positive habits, Clear advises identifying cues by making a list of daily habits and noting which actions precede and follow them. This helps to cue new desired behaviors, such as drinking water right after turning off your alarm.

Use Awareness to Your Advantage

Clear recommends planning in advance using the formula “When X occurs, I will do Y” to make cues noticeable and increase the likelihood of performing a new behavior. For example, schedule studying for 6 pm if that time is currently vacant on your habit list.

Clear’s “habit stacking” technique links a desired behavior to an existing habit by using the formula “After I do X, I will do Y.” For example, “After I put my dinner dishes in the sink, I will study for one hour.”

Be specific about the behavior that follows a cue to make it effective. Ensure the cue is feasible, as logistics can hinder new habits. For example, “I’ll study at my desk for an hour after putting dishes in the sink” is more effective than “I’ll study after dinner.”

Key 2: Craving: Increase the Appeal of a New Habit

Clear recommends two techniques to make creating habits easier by affecting the second stage of habit formation, the craving. Firstly, associate the new habit with other positive behaviors. Secondly, reframe the struggle of a new habit in a positive light to maximize the appeal of the desired behavior.

1) Connect Habits You Should Do to Things You Want to Do

Clear’s first strategy for increasing the appeal of a new habit is to link it to something positive by sandwiching it between an existing habit and a desired activity. This can be done by using the formula, “After X, I will do Y. After I do Y, I get to do Z.”

2) Reframe actions as opportunities rather than obligations.

To change your attitude and perceive obligations as possibilities is Clear’s second tip for attracting a new habit. By focusing on the positive elements of the behavior and the reward that comes with it, you can view your struggles as steps towards your goal, which increases motivation to do the behavior.

Key 3: Response: Decrease the Difficulty

At the third stage of habit building, Clear advises concentrating on the act itself to strengthen habits. Making the behavior effortless is what Clear advocates doing in order to keep your preferred identity, build confidence, and advance.

Make Behaviors Easier

Clear advises simplifying behaviors by removing obstacles and breaking them down into smaller, two-minute steps. Doing so increases the chances of taking action and maintaining the behavior. Instead of large changes, committing to small actions leads to small successes that boost motivation. Breaking down tasks, such as cooking dinner, into smaller steps, like opening the fridge or pulling out a vegetable, makes it easier to achieve.

Key 4: Reward: Make It Fulfilling

Clear suggests that for a habit to form successfully, the rewards must be satisfying. However, since many rewards are delayed, it’s essential to find ways to create immediate rewards that keep you motivated to continue.

End New Habits With Rewards

Clear suggests adding immediate positive reinforcement at the end of a desired behavior to create fulfilling rewards that keep you motivated. You can maintain motivation in a manner that delayed incentives cannot by engaging in an activity that is instantly gratifying after the action. The incentive of a higher mark next month may not be enough to motivate you to study, but concluding each study session with a cookie can.

Record Your Habits

Clear suggests using a visual representation to track progress and increase motivation. By marking a calendar or tracking sheet, you can see your accomplishments and feel rewarded for each successful completion. This act of tracking can be satisfying and motivating, creating a cue to continue the habit.

Breaking Bad Habits

To break a bad habit, disrupt one of the four stages of habit formation:

  1. Make the cue unnoticeable.
  2. Decrease the appeal of the habit.
  3. Increase the effort required to perform the habit.
  4. Make the reward unfulfilling.

To break the habit of shopping at the mall, change your route to avoid the cue, add a reminder of how much money you can save, increase the effort required to get there, and pay only in cash to decrease the reward.

Finding the Right Habits

Clear suggests focusing on developing habits that align with your strengths and interests as they are more enjoyable and easier to maintain due to your genetic makeup and predispositions.

The Big Five Personality Traits

To identify ideal habits, understand your personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. While not determinative, traits can guide toward habits more likely to succeed. Clear advises finding the version of a habit that aligns with your personality, rather than copying others. For example, if you dislike crowds, daily walks may work better than gym visits.

Continuing to Show Up

To maintain the effectiveness of a habit, it’s crucial to address its potential downsides. Clear offers strategies for tackling these issues, which include:

Make actions more difficult to avoid boredom

Clear suggests making habits challenging to combat boredom but not too difficult to discourage you. It’s important to ensure some level of success and failure to maintain motivation. This intermittent reward system reduces boredom by making each attempt novel.

How to Keep Progressing: Build on Momentum

Clear warns that creating habits can lead to stagnation, as automation may cause you to miss mistakes and hinder progress. For example, playing the same piano scales every day without noticing small mistakes can reinforce bad habits and impede progress.

How to Keep Changing: Develop an Adaptable Identity

Clear warns of a third downside of habit formation: becoming too attached to the identity that the habit represents. This can make it challenging to evolve beyond that identity because losing the habit means losing a part of yourself and your motivation. For instance, if you identify as a “good student” due to your habit of studying every day, graduating and losing the habit can lead to an identity crisis.

Looking Forward: Continue to Reflect and Adjust

Clear suggests that habit formation is an ongoing process that requires continual evaluation of your identity and behaviors. Your brain is always seeking ways to automate behavior based on environmental cues, so it’s crucial to reflect on your habits regularly.

By making small adjustments, you can promote growth and refine your actions to stay on the path to your goals. With hard work and awareness, you can become anyone you want and achieve anything you desire.

Book Summary of the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

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Power is a game everyone plays – you’re either a player or a pawn. Robert Greene’s book, The 48 Laws of Power, provides rules and strategies for mastering the game, based on examples from history. The laws increase your power when followed, and decrease it when not.

Deception is essential to the game, and requires an understanding of human behavior, self-control, charm, adaptability, strategic thinking, and deviousness. The 48 laws are listed in brief, and Greene warns that power can be consuming and change your perception of human behavior.

Adopt a Power Mindset

The key takeaway is to be strategic and not emotional, to pursue your goals relentlessly. One instance of this is how the Chinese Emperor Sung used strategic maneuvers to turn an adversary into an ally.

The passage also highlights several laws to follow, such as being wary of friends and using enemies, avoiding miserable people, focusing your efforts, planning through the end, getting the timing right, ignoring small problems, charting your own course, and being elusive.

These laws emphasize the importance of being aware of your surroundings, knowing your opponents, and being flexible and unpredictable to succeed.

Communicate Powerfully

These are the key takeaways and examples from Robert Greene’s “The 48 Laws of Power”. The book provides advice on how to become more powerful and influential in various situations.

The laws discussed include showing rather than telling, attuning to others’ emotions, attracting attention, disarming others by being nice, and creating a cult following. One example given is Michelangelo’s handling of criticism of his statue of David.

Other laws discussed include saying as little as possible, demonstrating your point rather than arguing, showing others what’s in it for them, and mirroring others’ emotions. The book suggests that by following these laws, one can become more successful in various endeavors.

Adopt Behaviors that Enhance Your Power

These laws of power focus on the importance of concealing your intentions and benefiting yourself while ingratiating yourself to others. The examples provided illustrate how this can be done through cunning and manipulation.

Key takeaways:

  • Always hide your true intentions and keep people off balance to prevent them from countering your efforts.
  • Protect and cultivate your reputation as it is a crucial component of your power.
  • Use others to do your work for you and take credit for their efforts.
  • Don’t wear out your welcome and make difficult feats seem effortless.
  • Act like royalty and project supreme confidence.
  • Learn the rules of the society you’re playing in and follow them to avoid attracting unfavorable attention.
  • Make your intended victims feel smarter than you are to avoid suspicion.
  • Go along to get along and avoid making a show of being different.

Examples provided include the con artist Victor Lustig, who pretended to be a count and distracted people with his odd behavior to rob them, and Catherine de Medici, a French regent who manipulated ambitious men by appealing to their passion for women.

Take Decisive Action

The key takeaway of this passage is to be ruthless and exploit others’ weaknesses to achieve your goals. The example given is of Catherine de Medici, who controlled ambitious men by using skilled mistresses to seduce them and report their plans back to her. The following laws are discussed:

  • Law 8: Bait Your Enemy
  • Law 11: Be Needed
  • Law 15: Annihilate Your Enemy
  • Law 22: Surrender to Win
  • Law 28: Act Boldly
  • Law 31: Set Up Phony Choices
  • Law 33: Use Others’ Weaknesses
  • Law 39: Rattle Your Opponents
  • Law 40: Use Money as a Tool
  • Law 42: Squelch the Troublemaker

These laws emphasize tactics such as making your opponent come to you, making your superior dependent on you, crushing your enemy completely, surrendering when weaker, acting boldly, using phony choices, exploiting weaknesses, staying calm while making your enemies angry, using money strategically, and stopping troublemakers.

Avoid These Potential Pitfalls

These laws of power teach us how to maintain control under pressure without taking things to the extreme. Isabella, a ruler of a small Italian city-state, managed to maintain independence by appearing open to other powers without committing to any side.

To remain in control, don’t isolate yourself, don’t take sides, and don’t get your hands dirty. Enact changes slowly, watch for envy, and know when to stop once you’ve achieved your goal. Be cautious of counter-reactions to your success, and don’t let emotions push you past your victory.

Book Summary of Mindset by Carol S. Dweck

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Unconscious beliefs can greatly impact our desires and accomplishments. In her book Mindset, Stanford University psychology professor Carol S. Dweck argues that our attitudes towards our abilities and intelligence shape the trajectory of our lives, starting in early childhood. Dweck, a Yale Ph.D. holder, is a decorated researcher in social and developmental psychology.

Her book is rooted in the nature vs. nurture debate, which suggests that a nurturing environment can be more influential than innate abilities and behaviors. Dweck contends that fostering growth is the key to ongoing improvement, regardless of natural talents.

 

The Two Mindsets

Your mindset plays a significant role in your personality and your ability to reach your potential, according to Dweck. It influences how you perceive success, failure, effort, and how you handle various aspects of life, including school, sports, work, and relationships. Dweck explains that you adopt either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset based on the influences of your parents, teachers, and media consumption.

1-) A fixed mindset operates under the belief that personal traits such as intelligence and personality are innate and unalterable. This mindset is often instilled in us from an early age, with phrases like “I was never good at math” or “some people are just naturally athletic” reinforcing the idea. Those with a fixed mindset feel the need to constantly prove themselves because they believe that innate abilities determine success. They may worry that they have been given a limited amount of ability and thus strive to overcompensate.

2-) A growth mindset holds that people can develop and enhance their abilities. It posits that innate talent is merely a starting point, and hard work, persistence, and effective learning strategies can lead to continuous improvement. Those with a growth mindset possess a love for learning and view mistakes as opportunities to learn. They embrace challenges to challenge themselves and grow further.

Learn How to Learn

Jim Kwik, a brain and memory coach, has built his career around the idea that anyone can learn and improve in any area. In his book Limitless, Kwik outlines three key components of learning:

Mindframe: You must believe that learning is possible (i.e., a growth mindset).

Drive: You must have the motivation to learn, whether it comes from personal interest or external factors like career aspirations.

Techniques: You must use effective methods to absorb and retain information.

By mastering these three aspects, Kwik asserts that you can learn about any topic faster and more easily than you ever imagined. He credits his own success to this system of learning.

Success and Failure

Dweck explains that in the fixed mindset, success is proving your intelligence and talent, and setbacks are failures that imply you’re not good enough. This mindset leads to quitting when faced with challenges. In contrast, the growth mindset sees success as learning and improving, while failure is an opportunity to learn and reach your potential.

Review Your Definition of Success

Success is a subjective concept that is rooted in personal ideology. According to fixed mindsets, success is achieving wealth, fame, or respect regardless of the effort. This rigid definition can make people feel like failures if they fall short. However, if success is defined by personal ideals, then individuals can determine their own success.

They can review their actions and ideals to decide where they are falling short and redefine success accordingly. If the definition of success is based on a fixed-mindset, redefining success may be necessary for a fulfilling life.

Perfection Versus Learning

Dweck explains that those with fixed mindsets strive for perfection to prove their innate abilities, while viewing effort as a weakness. In contrast, those with growth mindsets see effort as a positive and feel accomplished through progress and improvement.

Ironically, the perfectionism that comes with a fixed mindset can be detrimental to self-esteem, as it’s based on unrealistic expectations. Bestselling author Brené Brown notes that perfectionism is dangerous and can lead to shame and self-criticism. Instead, it’s important to recognize and revise unrealistic goals.

How the Mindsets Affect Children

Dweck warns that children can develop mindsets as young as three years old, influenced by the behavior of adults around them. Fixed mindsets hinder learning and can cause fear of failure, while growth mindsets embrace challenges and promote lifelong learning. Stephen Covey considers learning one of four essential human needs for happiness and fulfillment. Dweck discusses two behaviors that can promote a fixed mindset in children: praise and bullying.

Praise

Dweck cautions against praising children’s performance as it reinforces a fixed mindset. Instead, she recommends applying a growth mindset by praising children for their efforts, persistence, and improvement. Parents can help their children build confidence by teaching them to welcome challenges, learn from mistakes, and try new learning strategies. Positive reinforcement, in combination with ignoring unwanted behavior, is the best way to change a person’s behavior.

Bullying

Dweck says bullying can create fixed mindsets in victims who see themselves as inferior and deserving of mistreatment. Fixed mindset victims may seek revenge on the bully, while growth mindset victims are more likely to want to understand and help the aggressor.

Dweck also notes that bullying is often caused by fixed mindset thinking, where bullies view vulnerable kids as inferior. Some psychologists suggest a growth mindset approach to rehabilitating bullies by teaching them social and self-regulatory skills.

How the Mindsets Affect Your Life

Dweck believes that mindset shapes every aspect of life, including sports. In fixed-mindset thinking, “naturals” are expected to achieve, and talent becomes a drawback as these athletes don’t push themselves and prioritize individual performance over teamwork.

Athletes with growth mindsets find defeat motivating, define success as learning and improving, and understand the importance of working with their teammates. While some people are more naturally talented than others, practice widens talent gaps, and early bloomers who receive special attention and training can become self-fulfilling prophecies of their perceived talent.

The Mindsets in Business

Dweck asserts that a company’s success or failure is largely determined by the mindset of its leader. Fixed-mindset leaders consider themselves geniuses who don’t need a strong team, resulting in their self-serving behavior that can lead to belittling employees and ignoring mistakes.

Conversely, growth-oriented leaders believe in the ability of everyone to learn and develop, leading to positive and energized work environments. Dweck highlights that industry-leading companies, regardless of the industry, operate with growth mindsets and prioritize improving the company and employees over self-promotion.

Incorporate a Growth Mindset Into Meetings

Lafley’s “advocacy” and “inquiry” meeting styles reflect Dweck’s two mindsets. The advocacy-fixed mindset is about defending one’s idea and proving that it’s “good,” while the inquiry-growth mindset is about open inquiry, asking for feedback, and recognizing that every employee has the potential to contribute to the best strategy for the company. This approach recognizes that even talented and experienced individuals can overlook something and that every idea has the potential to be improved upon.

The Mindsets in Relationships

Dweck suggests that a fixed mindset can lead to negative beliefs about relationships, such as the idea that relationships are predetermined and unchangeable. In contrast, people with a growth mindset believe that relationships can be improved through effort and communication, and that challenges can actually bring partners closer together.

By adopting a growth mindset, individuals can become more resilient in the face of relationship challenges and more willing to put in the work required to maintain a healthy relationship.

Growth Begins With Acceptance

To develop a growth mindset in relationships, you can practice Radical Acceptance by accepting each moment as it is without judgment or trying to change it. This allows you to stay in control, approach situations calmly, and determine the best course of action.

In relationships, Radical Acceptance involves recognizing and approaching problems with compassion, understanding your partner’s perspective, and respecting it even if you don’t agree. This approach is applicable to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones, according to Brach.

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

Dweck says that understanding the two mindsets can inspire change, but changing your thought patterns takes time and effort. The fixed mindset can compete with growth-oriented thinking, especially if your self-esteem is based on fixed beliefs about your abilities.

Dweck warns that changing your mindset may feel like losing your sense of self, but ultimately the growth mindset allows you to be authentic and reach your full potential without constant self-judgment.

Mindset Begins With Values

To change your mindset, examine if your values support a growth mindset. In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson emphasizes that our thoughts and actions stem from our values. Healthy values have three criteria, two of which align with a growth mindset.

Firstly, they’re fact-based, rooted in concrete and provable facts. Secondly, they’re constructive, benefiting both you and those around you. A growth mindset is constructive by pushing you to improve yourself. Lastly, they’re within your control, not relying on external factors. Negative values include power, fame, and fixed-mindset values such as talent and intelligence, which rely on being born with them.

Begin Adjusting Your Mindset

To achieve a growth mindset, Dweck suggests following these steps:

  1. Acknowledge that you have fixed-mindset beliefs and do not accept the negatives that come with it.
  2. Create a fixed-mindset persona, identify its triggers, and give it a name to remind you that this is not who you want to be.
  3. Confront your fixed mindset when it appears and remind yourself that mistakes and failures are opportunities to learn and grow.

To counter your fixed-mindset thoughts, you can meet your fixed-mindset persona with compassion and acceptance, similar to how Buddha dealt with Mara in the parable of Radical Acceptance. Greet its arguments about your limitations with respect and conviction, and eventually, your personal “Mara” will exhaust itself and leave you in peace.